Good Morning!

Happy Monday, everyone. The boulder’s back at the bottom of the hill and now is when we begin to push.

I know today’s title sounds a little gloomy, but that’s no accident. Most of what we’ve thought about recently has addressed some of the deepest questions in life: What really is the self? What is its meaning? These questions can carry with them an impending sense of despair, or just general gloom. This week, we’re going to face “the burden of being human” head-on. Not despair for despair’s sake, but more like a deep dive into feelings such as anxiety, absurdity, guilt, freedom, alienation, etc.

Luckily, some of the best writers in the world have given these feelings a profound amount of thought. We’ll be diving into it with Nietzsche, Camus, Dostoyevsky, and even Franz Kafka. So let’s dive in.

Today, we’ll talk about the underground self by taking themes from Dostoyevsky’s Notes From Underground. Burning that off, we’re going to check ourselves on overthinking. Wrapping up with our Book Nook, we’re going to break into that very same text.

Have a seat, Thought Breakfast is served!

Dostoyevsky’s Notes From Underground follows an anonymous narrator who’s alienated from society and paralyzed by a sense of his own insignificance. His monologues are superfluous and almost satirical.

Now, the underground man isn’t ignorant. He’s brutally hyperconscious. He demonstrates how self-awareness becomes a loop of analyzing motives, second-guessing feelings, and narrating life instead of actually living it. Insight in this book doesn’t feel like freedom, but more like paralysis. The ultimate lesson is that the more clearly he sees himself, the less capable he feels of acting.

We like to imagine freedom as something empowering. Dostoyevsky shows us the other side of that. Freedom means responsibility. A lot of times, responsibility can create anxiety. The underground self hides behind overthinking because action feels risky. This manifests itself in our daily lives. Replaying conversations in your head, waiting for perfect certainty before speaking, etc., are all symptoms of this paralyzing freedom.

The underground man also refuses rational systems, neat psychological explanations, and any type of optimism. He contradicts himself very frequently, which is even more part of being human. We see that identity isn’t a clean story, but more a tension here.

As readers of Thought Breakfast, there’s no doubt in my mind that some of you may be exposed to overthinking. Dostoyevsky is warning hyper-aware people that overthinking can feel like control, but sometimes can just be avoidance. It begs us to ask ourselves: Are we really living our lives? Or just narrating it from the sidelines?

Ask yourself:

Write down one place where you can act before fully resolving the story in your head.

“I am a sick man… I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don’t consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious — sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway. I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes From Underground

If you’re worried I just spoiled something, don’t be. This is the first passage of the entire book.

Dostoyevsky spares no time in establishing the contradictory underground voice. He shows how self-awareness turns into irony, doubt, and paralysis.

It’s a good thing to remind ourselves that introspection and self-reflection can often turn into rumination. From there, it can take a serious toll on our day-to-day well being and our overall experience of being human.

Munch on that for today. Try not to get too lost inside your own head. Have a great day. Stay safe and warm, and come back tomorrow for another steaming hot plate of Thought Breakfast!

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Remember to stay mindful, smell the flowers, and take it easy.

Chef Ricky - Thought Breakfast